Holding onto Bad Love Habits

What no one tells us is how hard it can be to fall out of habit with what’s wrong for us.

It’s easy to fall out of the habit of what we should do—eating right, praying daily, showing up in love with patience and grace.

Toxic love, chaos we called passion, or confusion we called chemistry—we held onto it like it was real, because it felt familiar.

We once loved someone’s potential—the healthy version of them we created in our mind. We thought was love. I thought if I loved hard enough, they’d show up. 

Something shifted… 

I met the opposite of that love. A healthy, available, grounded love.  A man who didn’t just want to be loved, but wanted to love with me. Work stopped being heavy when we met and started working together. 

Our love didn’t feel like sacrifice anymore—it felt like value.  He brings home more than money—he brings peace. . He spends with intention, not just in our home, but in the lives of others. He doesn’t take love—he multiplies it.

“It feels good” Better than good. It feels like an answered prayer I didn’t even know how to form. I ask God sometimes—how did we get here? How did I get the honor of helping him. Having his back, holding him together when times are tough but still holding him accountable. He’s able to run.

The joy of watching him lead, the grace of being chosen without losing myself? How did he find me? This kind of man—It took time. It took healing. It took patience. But God—thank you for helping me wait for him.